Best season for severe depression you mean? Snow is the only redeeming quality, but it hardly ever snows here anyway

I think you mean heat.

Crime rates peak in the summer months when it's warmer. https://pinkerton.com/our-insights/blog/the-seasonality-of-crime If you support summer warmth then you're likely a violent criminal. Just another reason the planet needs another Maunder Minimum.

Really hoping for at least a little something in the UP or Vermont for one or two last surfboarding trips.

Indeed! It was even warmer last week! Spring in the Northeast US...never dull!